Sexuality isn’t black and white, yet society often tries to force it into rigid categories. For many, being bisexual means constantly battling
misconceptions, stereotypes, and the pressure to “pick a side.” But the truth is, bisexuality is real, valid, and as natural as any other sexual orientation.
And for those who need the reminder—talking about sexuality does not mean it’s coming from a “sexual” or “horny” place. If your only experience with sexuality is tied to lust, you might assume that every conversation about it is about sex. But that assumption says more about you than the topic itself.
I often see conservative voices ask, “Why are you talking to kids about sex?” when the subject of sexuality comes up. But the truth is, the only ones thinking about sex in that moment are them. Many heterosexual men, in particular, don’t have a strong foundation for navigating sexual emotions, so everything gets lumped together in one big pile of explicit thoughts.
This is why so many men struggle with jealousy and possessiveness—why they get angry about their partners being around other men. They can’t comprehend how a person isn’t constantly sexualizing others, because that’s the lens they see through. But not everyone experiences the world that way.
And ladies (and everyone else who dates men), let me give you a helpful hint: the more insecure he is, the smaller it is—and the worse he is at sex.
As a 6’3”, 275-pound former college football player and a country boy who can hold my own in any setting, I’m here to help break the stigmas that insecure men place around sexuality and strength.
Because at the end of the day, this isn’t just about sexuality.
It’s about breaking the stigma, reclaiming the narrative, and embracing identity with confidence.
What It Really Means to Be Bisexual
At its core, bisexuality simply means being attracted to more than one gender. But for many, it’s more than just attraction—it’s about connection, love, and freedom from the binary constraints that society imposes.
Bisexuality is NOT:
🚫 “Just a phase”
🚫 “Being confused”
🚫 “A stepping stone to being gay or straight”
🚫 “Greedy” or “promiscuous”
Yet, these are some of the most common myths that bisexual people have to deal with.
The reality?
Bisexual people experience attraction in a way that is fluid, complex, and unique to them. Some feel equally drawn to multiple genders, while others have preferences that shift over time. Neither makes them “less” bisexual.
The Struggles of Being Bisexual in a World That Wants Certainty
One of the hardest parts about being bi isn’t just accepting yourself—it’s constantly being questioned by others.
🏳️🌈 From the LGBTQ+ Community:
• Biphobia within queer spaces is real. Many bi people are accused of not being “queer enough” or are treated as if they have “privilege” for being attracted to the opposite sex.
• Some assume that bi people in opposite-gender relationships are just “straight-passing” and don’t experience the same struggles—ignoring the fact that bisexuality comes with its own unique set of challenges.
🌍 From the Straight World:
• Many straight people assume bisexuality is just indecisiveness or that bi people will eventually “choose” a side. But that’s the whole point of being bi—you don’t pick a side.
• Even when a bi person falls in love, it doesn’t mean that part of them disappears.
Take me, for example. I’m 31 and married to an amazing woman. I came out to her almost five years ago and only recently shared it publicly. The first questions I got? “Why now?” “Are you leaving your wife for a man?”
But coming out isn’t about leaving someone—it’s about stepping into yourself.
For me, it started when my wife loved the parts of me I had spent my entire life shaming. Her acceptance allowed me to embrace myself in a way I never had before. It didn’t weaken our marriage—it strengthened it.
The greatest gift you can give someone in love is showing them how to love themselves.
As a country boy raised in generations of evangelical Christianity, I had learned not to love certain parts of myself. But now, as a married man with two young boys, I know I don’t want them to experience the same pain I did.
To give them that freedom, I had to give it to myself first.
I had to love myself.
I had to feel emotions I had run from my entire life.
I had to stop believing that love was about conditional acceptance.
Many of us don’t learn love the way we should. Instead, we receive conditional gratitude disguised as love. We’re taught that some emotions need to be hidden to “keep the peace.” But real love—unconditional love—doesn’t come with those terms and conditions.
If you feel shame around being bi (or anywhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum), let it go.
That shame doesn’t belong to you. It was placed on you by others.
And their inability to accept you?
That’s their shame to carry—not yours.
The Misrepresentation of Bisexuality: The Silent Struggle
Despite making up over half of the LGBTQ+ community (57% according to a 2022 study), bisexual people often experience misrepresentation.
📖 In History: Many famous historical figures were likely bisexual, but their relationships were either erased or rewritten as purely heterosexual or homosexual. This includes:
• Alexander the Great
• Julius Caesar
• Leonardo da Vinci
• Walt Whitman
• James Baldwin
Some even speculate that Jesus himself may have been bisexual, given the relationships between men in biblical texts. You can find an article about this on my blog.
🎥 In Media: Bisexual characters are rarely given authentic representation. They’re often portrayed as confused, unfaithful, or hypersexualized instead of just… being bi.
💬 In Conversations: People assume that if a bi person is dating someone of the opposite sex, they’re straight. If they’re with the same sex, they must be gay. But bisexuality doesn’t disappear based on a relationship.
Embracing Your Bisexuality with Confidence
If you’re bisexual, your identity is valid—no matter what anyone says.
✅ You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
✅ Your attraction doesn’t need to be 50/50.
✅ You don’t have to “prove” your bisexuality through your dating history.
✅ You belong—both in the LGBTQ+ community and in the world at large.
Bisexuality is not a phase.
It is not confusion.
And it does not require justification.
The more we challenge myths, erase stigma, and embrace authenticity, the more future generations will grow up knowing that they never have to pick a side.
Because being bi isn’t about choosing between two worlds.
It’s about embracing both, neither, and everything in between.
So whether you’re on the LGBTQ+ spectrum or not, you are whole, valid, and enough—exactly as you are.
And if you love someone who is on this spectrum, make sure they know that.
Because being different in a world where so many confuse conditional gratitude for love means that sometimes, you need a reminder. And coming from someone who truly loves them?
That reminder won’t just tell them they are enough—it will empower them to keep loving themselves… even the parts the world refuses to accept.
Real love is seeing someone fully and choosing them anyway. Be that kind of love.
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